Working mums

Working mums

Vidya Shankar, Trustee , Hony Project Head, Shriram Foundation

                                Chairperson, Founder trustee, Relief Foundation

Would you expand your business if you did not have time for it? Well children are your expanded business in its crudest of terms. A child entering the family either by biology or adoption has a right to “prepared” parents; parents who know that they have now a responsibility on hand; parents who  are ready for new way of life that much includes the child. Not dropping them off in day cares or grandparents place from their 3rd month of opening their eyes to light!

If there is a plan for providing undivided attention to children, until the age of their acknowledging and seeking peers, that is 6 years, then the family is set for a launch of sorts, with the super woman waiting to take off ….zoooom. But only the difference is that she will only take short trips, coming back (mentally) each time to reconnect with her children and stabilize her attachment with them.

So, where could she work? Well, in a place that provides her a flexible timing and freedom to hold her children in her subconscious. This will ensure their emotional and physical safety even in her absence.

Employers world-wide realize that a woman who has done justice to her family and made them ready for her role as a career woman, is a far more reliable, prepared and a power filled resource rather than someone at loose ends, grappling with marital and parental tumults.

While work places do offer crèches  or provide measured maternity leave for mothers, the element of the child’s need for a constant caregiver figure is completely forgotten in the formation of his/her personality.

Working at home options are available, of course, but what if you are in mid conversation or skype and baby needs to poo? Diapers? You call out “Ayaaah”?

Compared to other places in the world, our country has a history of glorified motherhood and hence taking examples for how working women are supported in their workplace overseas seems out of place. A famous mobile company in India, popularly advertised an “idea” of working mother support. A crawling toddler in the presence of caretaker dai, is coo chickooed through this high tech mobile, by his mother who works in the office of a famous actor who vouches for it? – where are we heading really?

What young girls need today is that they are prepared for life processes including own mental and spiritual growth coupled with economic independence that is so essential to maintain their spirit. An introspective journey on what constitutes marriage, parenthood, opportunities for overall development, without compromising on quality of mothering, and happy living needs to be facilitated by significant adults in her life.

In a job where she can stay connected with her true inner self, ever in touch with her own nature of caring and tending, in a motherly way, she would bring the family’s energy and enthusiasm into the work she undertakes.

However, when a woman is drawn by forces that reduce her nature, there is a break in the life chain of interdependence, that causes a withdrawal of resources from nature. The earth being a giant living organism itself, will lose one soul to a bottomless black-hole even before the journey of evolution into a higher being, begins in her.

A productive working mother tends to her employees and staff as her children. However, she cannot do it if her own house is in turmoil and reeking of guilt and mudslinging. Enabling her family into a position to receive her in her new role is important before she plunges into work. She needs to check the following before she selects the job and commits her time.

-          Is the work to fill the day or nourish her soul?

-          Is it to supplement the family income or become economically independent?

-          Is it worth her time outside her home, when compromises sneak in?

-          Is she able to enjoy her time at home and work?

A “whole soul” searching exercise would establish the answers

-          How she can protect her family against diseases of the body and mind by adding the love component in the food she cooks for them before leaving for work.

-          How she can sense mental and physical problems her family, near and dear ones are facing, but keeping them in her conscious thoughts while at work.

-          How she can prepare ground for sane and simple living with need based purchases being the family’s motto in this consumeristic society, by spending time after work, helping them in understanding and fulfilling their hierarchy of needs.

-          How her Cosmic purpose in life can be fulfilled with a dual role

She is the suave supermom for her family, a mother for a hundred more, and the world would wake up to welcome her when she arrives!